Ambivalence Day
2006-04-24 @ 8:36 p.m.

Just received an e-mail from PSC, which has forced me to dig up dreams I'd long since buried. In my life, I've seldom had occasion to regret anything. Sounds implausible, but cross my heart, I genuinely regret very few things. So having to forgo the Warwick offer will constitute a major regret, and even though I've more or less reconciled myself to going to NUS in 2008 if need be, the fact remains that it'll forever be my sixth choice (after the five UK universities). I say that without prejudice. I merely contend that I'll benefit more from an overseas education. Part of me desperately wants to leave this city, even for a mere three or four years. My dad once told me quite pointedly that I could have been just about anything that I wanted to be, provided I had applied myself to it. I believe him, of course, which is precisely why to remain in Singapore would be such a mediocre way to spend my early twenties. Don't we all have grand ideas about ourselves? (Or at the very least, grand illusions?) Haven't we all, at some point or another, identified with Eustacia Vye?