Flower Basket Day/Spaghetti Day/Trivia Day/Blender Day
2005-01-04 @ 11:39 p.m.

Have decided that I'm not going to do the 'S' Paper essay for Mr Sowden, because it suddenly occurred to me while I was typing the second page that I don't really want to do Economics 'S'. I pushed that gnawing doubt away for a few sentences, but it just kept growing. I could foresee all the problems and frustrations I'd face over the year, and I don't want that. That's not how I want to live 2005! Riding home on the train this afternoon, I was thinking that I'd just leave the appeal in God's hands, and accept the eventual outcome, whatever it is. Come to think of it, maybe this experience of researching and trying to write the essay was meant to show me that this isn't what I really want to do. Reading beyond the syllabus is very interesting, but I can't deal with the additional workload, not with my History in such a pathetic state. Frankly, it was pride that made me write the appeal letter, and I regret not thinking through the whole thing properly. So now, ironically, I'm praying that my appeal doesn't succeed, because I won't know what to tell Mr Sowden if I do get in. Never mind, I'm sure I'll think of something...