Hana Matsuri (Japan)/Buddha Day
2004-04-08 @ 11:37 p.m.

Tonight was the second time in a week that I was lugging a guitar around, feeling like taking a cab home. It was also the second time that I elected not to do so, on account of the presence of people walking with me to the MRT. I've hence resolved to only take cabs home when it's late, and I have nobody to travel home with. The only time I feel lonely is at night on public transport. Other times, I'll be griping about the congestion or the fact that I'm taking public transport in the first place. That's why I hate going home from French even more. It's too crowded to be lonely in the MRT, it's too noisy to think about stuff, and it doesn't help that I've learnt precious little in the preceding two hours. I'm missing two lessons next week, but I don't feel as worried as I would have been a few years back. Tout ira bien à la fin, comme d'habitude, car ma vie est charmé...

The ride back yesterday was weird, and that was probably my fault! After my guitar sectional, I was restringing my guitar. Actually, I'm going back to that in a moment, still have four strings to go! So a fraction of our class went out for dinner, and Chernise ended up as the only girl again because Jennifer had to go to Plaza Singapura. The irony of the whole thing lay in the fact that Chernise was the one who suggested a class dinner. We went to Subway in Holland Village, because town just seemed too far I guess. The five of us had an interesting discussion all the way from Subway to Buona Vista MRT. Then I posed this question: If our class were to end up in a Lord Of The Flies scenario, who would you kill first? Then it went on to who you'd kill last, who'd survive longest, etc. I think though, that the honest conversation that I had at the end was interesting. It brought me to this singular realisation - I'm not as nice as I used to be. I'm a lot less tolerant of people who cannot accept the realities of life. Nobody's going to sugarcoat their words when you get out there, so why must I? In this respect, I've been increasingly influenced by Mr Purvis. He's provocative, but I find myself responding to that not so much by challenging my own beliefs, but by cultivating a latent cynicism of thought. Like it or not, I'm a nice guy, taken with a pinch of salt...