Chocolate Covered Raisins Day/Houdini Day
2004-03-24 @ 10:08 p.m.

O2 is finally over. Before I whine about that, let me caution you against viewing The Eye 2, because it's a crap movie. It's not scary! Only the scene with the bodies falling in front of the bus stop came as a surprise to me. The freakiest thing about the whole show was how the St. Nicholas girls behind us screamed on demand, and they even screamed once because they thought they were going to see something. Bimbos are digusting. It's a damn lousy show, just don't watch it okay? It has a potentially good plot, but the endings jars because it's too positive compared to the negativity pervading the rest of the show. I mean, Shu Qi's character attempts suicide at the beginning and at the end, and she ultimately doesn't die but lives happily ever after! I don't think so...

I think all the stoning is getting to me, altering my mood too much from its placid state. Even my playlist is starting to irritate the living daylights out of me (and it's my favourite genre). It's too upbeat for right now. Jarring discongruity between what I feel/think and hear. Maybe I just feel it was dumb for me to waste two days of my life stoning while avoiding participation in O2 activities. I mean, it was nice meeting my OG again with the new intake, but did we have to do it in school? Couldn't we have got the whole week off, seeing as the J2s are having Common Tests so we might as well let us off too (even though that makes absolutely no sense). Then we could organise our own activities for the new intake. The downside is what happens to those OGs that've already fallen apart by this time. Oh well, you can't make everyone happy, so why not compromise and make us all unhappy? I'm in a bad mood right now, for absolutely no perceivable reason. Perhaps it's all the negative blogs I'm reading. Sure, blame it on someone else. Maybe I'm just out-of-sync with my inner world...

It's interesting how easy it is to find stuff on the Internet, Google's caches are an endless source of entertainment. Not that it particularly matters to anyone. I'm not making sense, am I? I feel that I practise self-censorship too much in my entries. I swear mildly (no major vulgarities anywhere), no content here that would be rated M18 (let alone R21), and I seldom rail at anything or anybody when I write. The last time I did that was mid-2003, and those were extenuating circumstances. Doesn't mean I don't feel like doing it sometimes, but it's easy to conform to a more socially-palatable mode of behaviour, even on the big bad World Wide Web. (Does that count as a rhyme?) I feel divided, a (not-so-)"little bundle of contradictions", as Anne Frank once referred to herself. Like Brutus at war with himself. How's this for a couple of nice lines: I'm equal parts of your heavens and hells, grey-hearted angel-devil, with wings bogged down by the pitchfork they're concealing. (How come my poetry doesn't sound like that all the time? Juxtaposition of imagery's fairly good there. A tad too clichéd, but we're not aiming for perfection when doing stream of consciousness writing.) Sometimes, I feel like a fraud, and school doesn't help. People don't realise it, but what they say can tap into your deepest-seated fears about yourself. (I already know who's going to tag in response to this. I'm a mind-reader.) Damn, I actually feel lousy right now! I can't pin the feeling down. Maybe it'll go away tomorrow. Get over it Ian, tomorrow is a brighter day (unless it rains)...